How Our Kids Raise Us

There is so much talk on the inter webs about how to raise our kids.  Do this, don’t do that, and for god’s sake NEVER DO THAT.  So much judgement, division, stress and anxiety.  It’s no wonder that most moms I talk to feel alone, isolated, stressed and believe they are failing their kids in one way or another.

Dr. Shefali Tsabary has pioneered a new and different perspective on raising our kids.  She calls it Conscious Parenting.

The essence of it is that parenting is not about our kids, at least not entirely.  It’s also, and powerfully, about us.

We have somehow learned to believe that once we become and adult, we are done.  Our learning is finished, our development complete.  We know it all, we know better, and we can and SHOULD lead the way.

No pressure or anything.

Dr. Shefali suggests that a powerful flip in this perspective shifts everything about parenting.  Rather than seeing it as all about being in charge and moulding our children in the way we believe they ought to be moulded, rather she suggests acting from a position of observation, reflection and self development.

Have a look at this talk where she explains the crux of what Conscious Parenting is all about.

When our kids trigger us, which they absolutely will as they are perfectly designed to do so, rather than diving into victim or exploding into anger and then riding the wave of guilt and shame that goes along with it, she suggests a different course.  Observe the situation.  Situations are, after all, neutral.  Not good, or bad, they simply are what they are. What triggered you? How did it make you feel? Can you see how the behaviour of your child is reflected in you?  Can you see that the trigger reflects not something that is lacking in your child, but something in you that is crying out to be healed?

The world is on a dangerous path.  Many people I speak to have said that it looks as though it is run by a bunch of arrogant and emotional teenagers.  Schoolyard politics, entitlement, mood swings, gang mentality, the works.  To me, this speaks to the collective emotional and spiritual development of the human race.  There is much healing and growth to be done.

Who better to do that work than parents?

This is not a path for the faint of heart.  It does not allow for you to be a victim, and to pass off your power to another.  It calls you to step forward into your power and take action to embrace, change, or leave each and every situation you find yourself in.

Keep following me here to learn more. Parenting is my passion. Healing is my work.  Education is my super power.  I am here to support you.

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